Zomaris:Khanate Rising/Chapter 03

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Note: This log is still in IRC format, and may be awkward to read as a result.

Chapter #3: Revenge on the Three Stooges

<mainstreet> You're still in the burial chamber of Count Gerard III. You have the banner. There's still: the passage back where you came from, is the sarcophagus of Gerard III, a table with a handful of canopic jars, an altar to Maat, and another open doorway to continue farther on, should you so choose.

  • Fir casts Detect Magic on the banner that the invisible Molly is holding.

<mainstreet> The banner gives off a moderate aura. The sarcophagus (or something inside it) appears to give off a faint aura.

<Fir> "Is it normal for animals to make their dead body boxes magic?"

<Magwitch> "If a mummy lives in it, I wouldn't be surprised."

<Yevyre> "It could be a preservation thing."

<Magwitch> "How about we go back up the stairs, let out some blood-curdling screams together, and then come back down here, hide in the dark, and wait for our competition to waltz in."

<Capn_Mercy> "I wanna see." Mercy examines the saca...sarcough...coffin-thingy for a way to open it.

<Yevyre> "Perhaps we should not disrespect the dead more than we already have."

<mainstreet> Capn_Mercy: It appears to just slide off if you want it too and have the strength to move it. The top is just a stone slab.

  • Fir checks the room for interesting plants, molds, or lichen.

<Capn_Mercy> "Pfft. What do they care? hey're dead."

<mainstreet> Fir: No.

<Yevyre> "Living relatives could care."

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy shoves the lid open jus enough to peek inside. "If so, then they ought not to send strangers into their sacred tombs."

<mainstreet> Mercy: You see the dead guy's body, all wrapped up, and holding with appear to be a shiny rod and a pair of dull rods. You'll need to open it further to see better.

<Magwitch> "Count Gerard doesn't know we're here. His son asked us to get this and give it back to him, not the Count. I expect if the Count finds out we disturbed his parents any more than we absolutely had to (especially if it was for personal gain) then the Count would not deal kindly with us. He put in place whatever memorabilia and measures he did only months ago for his own reasons. We don't have prerogative to usurp that. There are EVIL lairs we can plunder

<Magwitch> instead. That's much more appealing."

<Fir> After Magwitch puts the banner in the bag of holding, Fir hands her own bag for Molly to carry again.

<Yevyre> "Yeah, all that stuff."

<Magwitch> "Yevyre, is there Evil to be vanquished here?"

<Capn_Mercy> "Aww, please?" Mercy makes a surprisingly adorable pair of puppy dog eyes.

  • Yevyre hones her senses to detect foul, evil auras

<mainstreet> Yevyre: You don't see any.

  • Yevyre facepalms. "Let's not loot the dead relatives of someone we're supposed to be helping."

<Yevyre> "And I do not detect the stench of evil here."

<Magwitch> "Let us seek it elsewhere!"

<Capn_Mercy> "Ah, fine." She pulls the lid back into place, then stows her hammer. ...where does she keep that thing, anyway?

<Fir> "Where I come from, taking nutrients from dead relatives is a time-honored tradition, but you got to wait about a half year for them to decompose sufficiently. I don't know when these people died, and animal customs do seem to be different."

<Magwitch> "They may have been embalmed with substances to protect them from being digested by bystanders."

<Yevyre> "We generally do not eat dead people. Dead other things, we eat quite often."

<Magwitch> "Dead plants, especially."

<Capn_Mercy> "Speak for yourself. I don't do salad."

<Fir> "The best food, though, is what you make yourself." Fir produces a set of berries growing from the branches on her palm. She eats one and offers one to the others.

<Capn_Mercy> "Uh, no thanks."

<Yevyre> "Autocannibalism is not the answer."

<Capn_Mercy> "Fine, if we're not looting, then we're leaving. Let's go." She leads the way back upstairs.

<Magwitch> "They're just baby plants. Think of them like eggs."

<Magwitch> "Berries are just baby plants. If you're happy to eat an adult plant, why not a baby plant?"

<Fir> "They're delicious, though. And filling."

<Magwitch> "Octopuses eat their own limbs sometimes..."

  • Fir looks at Magwitch. "I suppose animals prefer to eat animals."

<mainstreet> Capn_Mercy: You can see a passage about 20 feet wide and 30 feet long, with an open doorway on the other side. On either side of this passage there appears to be some sort of drop. At each side of the door you’re at, and each side of the other door, a seven-foot-tall statute of Maat is visible. The doorways at both ends are open.

<Yevyre> "Right. This annoying room."

<Capn_Mercy> "You're up."

<Magwitch> "So, shall we exit in triumph? Or lie in wait for the others? Or what?"

<Fir> "Does anyone have a symbol of Maat?"

<Fir> "Were there any symbols back in that last room?"

<Capn_Mercy> When nobody steps up to trigger thr statues, she sighs. "Okay, *I'm* up." She attempts to sprint across the platform.

<mainstreet> The statues attempt to slam into Mercy, but she jumps and weaves and they miss her.

<Fir> "Run!" Fir runs across the room in her wake.

  • Yevyre tags along quickly before the statues reset
  • Magwitch scoots across the room.

<Capn_Mercy> "Wooo!" She stops to wait for the others.

<mainstreet> Capn_Mercy: Uh, you were last. ;)

<mainstreet> But, you're all across now!

  • Fir goes through the door, glowing quarterstaff at the ready.

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy leads the way towards the entrance, vigilant for intruders. Y'know, other than themselves.

<mainstreet> Fir: You're back in the antechamber.

  • Yevyre tags along carefully, weapon at the ready, just in case

<mainstreet> The antechamber is just as you left it.

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy peeks through said door. Is it still desert outside?

<mainstreet> Mercy: The dunes appear to be silent, but you get an uneasy feeling.

<Capn_Mercy> "I have a bad feeling about this."

<Capn_Mercy> "I think someone's out there."

  • Fir looks around on the floor for any loose stones.

<Yevyre> "Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised, but we have few choices."

<Yevyre> "Just have your weapons out."

<Capn_Mercy> "We could try the back door?"

  • Fir finds a loose stone and picks it up. She casts Light on it, and the glowing quarterstaff loses its glow. "I'm gonna toss this outside to distract them for a second, then we all run out. Sound like a plan?"

<Fir> "Ready?" Fir asks.

<Yevyre> "I suppose."

  • Fir opens the door, quickly throws the glowing rock out the door, then dashes after it, pausing as soon as there is enough room for everyone to exit behind her.

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy follows. Quickly.

<mainstreet> As soon as you start to head out the door, The Three Stooges circle around from behind a dune, their bows nocked and pointed in your direction. “Ah, we knew you would get the banner. Hand it over and no one gets hurt, capiche?” the one in the middle proclaims.

<Fir> "Bullies!" Fir shouts, and makes a rude gesture with her leaves that just looks like rustling leaves to the Three Stooges.

<Yevyre> "So...I'm assuming you didn't want to risk fighting whatever was in there yourselves, and wanted to ambush anyone who walked out after using up resources. However, we have no significant wounds and expended pretty much nothing in there, you're outnumbered, and my weapon is already drawn. You'd need all the luck in the world to walk away from this alive. So...do you feel lucky, punks?"

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy draws her hammer from...somewhere...and holds it in a manner not unlike a mafia enforcer with a baseball bat.

<mainstreet> "I think we do. I think you're just blowing smoke. FIRE!"

<mainstreet> Magwitch rides up, getting close to the Stooges, then casts a hex!

<mainstreet> One of the bowmen fires at Mercy!

<mainstreet> Another Stooge fires at Yevyre!

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy stands there as the arrow hits at exactly the right angle to be deflected by the right half of her chainmail bikini top. "See? It totally works!"

<Fir> "Alov," Fir whispers, and flicks one wooden finger. A ball of flame appears in her hand, magically not catching her on fire. She gathers the flame and launches it at the nearest bowman. The ball of flame splits in two, with one part launching into the air and the other remaining in her hand.

<Fir> The ball of flame falls harmlessly to the sand, a good five feet away from the Stooge.

<Capn_Mercy> "Nice shot."

  • Fir makes an irritated sound that reminds listeners of wooden branches scraping against each other in a heavy wind.

<Yevyre> "You three will be buried here!" Yevyre shouts and charges at the one who shot her

<mainstreet> "Yow!" The man is not happy with the attack he's taken.

<mainstreet> The remaining Stooge takes a shot at Mercy.

<Capn_Mercy> This time, the arrow bounces harmlessly off the left side. "Hah! Boobs of Steel, I tell ya! Also, SHEEEEAAAAARRRRRGH!" She roars to the sky, then instantly springs into a cheetah-like sprint, barreling at the offending Stooge, hauling her hammer back and swinging with everything she's got!

<mainstreet> The Stooge is sliced up quite a bit. He spits in your face.

<mainstreet> Magwitch chants to extend, then turns and attempts to cast Misfortune on the undamaged Stooge!

<mainstreet> Unfortunately, it didn't seem to do anything.

<mainstreet> The Stooge that is standing next to Mercy attempts to shoot her.

<mainstreet> This shot doesn't even come close.

<mainstreet> The stooge engaged with Yevyre now attempts to shoot her!

<mainstreet> The stooge engaged with Yevyre now attempts to shoot her, after stepping back quickly!*

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy twists to avoid the shot even as she swings her hammer horizonally at the man's head. "F*ck off."

<mainstreet> Sadly, it clangs off their armor.

<mainstreet> S1's shot goes wild.

  • Fir throws another ball of flame, aiming at S3 this time.

<mainstreet> S3 is a little scorched. "Ow."

  • Yevyre takes a step towards the Stooge she was meleeing, swinging her guisarme low to catch his legs

<mainstreet> The Stooge is tripped!

<mainstreet> Stooge Number Three shoots at Fir.

<Yevyre> After the Stooge falls onto the sands, Yevyre slams her guisarme downward while screaming incoherently

<mainstreet> The Stooge #1 is now bleeding profusely.

<mainstreet> However, it misses.

  • mainstreet erases that

<mainstreet> Stooge Number Three shoots at Fir. However, it misses.*

<Capn_Mercy> Now thoroughly worked up, Mercy becomes even more reckless, putting every ounce of strength into ensuring that her attacker's head ends up like a watemelon at a Gallager show.

<mainstreet> Well you've managed exactly this, as the enemy's head has indeed splattered all over the sand!

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy's hammer, collides with the side of the enemy's head, the spikes driving deep into its skull. There's a horrible wet tearing, cracking sound as the hammer rips his head clean off - and then keeps on going. She uses the momentum she's built up to whip the hammer around, up, and then down again, bringing it and its passenger down on the villian Yevyre has been stabbing.

<mainstreet> *SPLAT* This Stooge's head also ends up in several pieces.

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy stands there, covered in blood and various bits of bone splinters, breathing raggedly. There's a worrisome glint in her eye, and a creepy smile on her face...

  • Fir considers backing up to make it harder for the Stooge to see her, then realizes that the flaming ball of light in her hand is a bit of a giveway for her position. So she throws another ball of flame at the Stooge.

<mainstreet> Another scorch mark, another little bit of damage. "Ow!"

  • Yevyre turns her smoldering gaze at the last Stooge, charging over to him guisarme first

<mainstreet> Instead, Yevyre manages to fall flat on her face with her wild swing.

<mainstreet> The last remaining Stooge attempts to run away!

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy's head whips around as she sees movement out of the corner of her eye. One should know better than to turn one's back on a predator...in an instant she's after him, easily outpacing him with her Super Barbarian Speed(tm) and bringing her hammer to bear.

<mainstreet> *BANG* One hammer blow and the final stooge is DOWN!

<Capn_Mercy> "AHAHAHA!!"

  • Fir follows after Mercy, notices the last Stooge is not quite dead yet, and lays a hand flat on him, whispering, "Sabitdir" to stabilize him.

<mainstreet> The Stooge stabilizes.

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy turns to glare at Fir and, for just a moment, begins to raise her hammer again, grinning like a maniac. Then, there's a glimmer of recognition in her eye; the blonde stops and shakes her head, as if coming out of a daze. "Nngh..."

<Capn_Mercy> She lets her gore-splattered hammer head drop to the sand as she inhales slowly. "Easy, girl. It's over."

<Fir> "I forget, do we know who this guy is working for?"

  • Fir ignores the giant barbarian who almost killed her.

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy isn't giant! She's only 6'3".

  • Yevyre gets up and dusts herself off. "Well, I guess we have a prisoner now."

<Capn_Mercy> "Wait, he's not dead? Dammit!" She raises her hammer again.

<Yevyre> "Hold up, there!"

  • Fir puts her tiny hands on her hips, glares at Mercy, and says firmly, "STOP."

<Fir> "We need to find out who he's working for. I think. He's working for someone, right?"

<Yevyre> "Quite possibly."

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy stops. "Aww, c'mon! I was three for three!"

<Fir> "Molly! Bring my bag here." When the bag floats over to Fir, she roots around in it until she finds some twine. Then she uses it to bind the Stooge's hands behind his back.

<Fir> "So...err...what do we do with him now?"

<Yevyre> "I could heal him, and then interrogate him."

<Fir> "Ok."

<Capn_Mercy> "I could kill him."

  • Fir wanders away a bit, but not out of hearing range, and gazes at the stars.

<Yevyre> "Yes, yes, we know."

<mainstreet> Fir: *blink*blink*

  • Fir blinks her eyes back at the stars and wonders if they can see her.
  • Yevyre lays a hand on the Stooge's shoulder, channeling her divinely-gifted power to heal him

<Yevyre> "Hm. I won't waste any more of my gifts on him," Yev says, and pulls out smelling salts to wave underneath his nose

<mainstreet> "Buh... buh... uh?" The Stooge wakes up slowly. "Wha..."

<Yevyre> "It's your lucky day. You and I get to have a talk."

<mainstreet> "Huh?"

<Yevyre> "Yeah, some people are kind of woozy after getting the snot beaten out of them. Focus. Tell me who you were going to give the banner to."

<mainstreet> "Uh... Maria. She had the best offer."

<Yevyre> "Maria? Describe her."

<mainstreet> "I'm sure you saw her. Catfolk lady. Offered 15 thousand gold."

<Yevyre> "Ah, yes."

<Yevyre> "Well, I'm afraid you have gained nothing and lost much today. But you do not seem irredeemable to me."

<mainstreet> "Life is hard. People gotta eat."

<Capn_Mercy> "He's got a point."

<Capn_Mercy> "It's just how mercenaries do their thing. Nothing personal. Just like how I murdered your two friends for no other reason than straight-up business acumen."

<mainstreet> "They're my brothers."

<Yevyre> "Well, they were."

<mainstreet> "...yeah. Definitely can't afford to raise them. Great. I'm a complete failure."

<Capn_Mercy> "Eh, keep at it. It took me years to figure out how to make a living at this."

<Yevyre> "I know your pain. I lost my brother not that long ago."

<mainstreet> "Are you going to kill me now?"

<Yevyre> "Nah. Like I said, you're not irredeemable."

<Capn_Mercy> "Ye--wait, we're not? Phooey."

<mainstreet> ---END SESSION---