Zomaris:Khanate Rising/Chapter 06

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Note: This log is still in IRC format, and may be awkward to read as a result.

Chapter #6: Raging Ladies

<mainstreet> ---BEGIN SESSION---

<mainstreet> You all advance on the hill giant, attempting to open the farm's back door using his club.

<Capn_Mercy> "That will never work. You need proper leverage--oh, wait. I mean...stop that!"

<Magwitch> Magwitch spurs the longsuffering compsognathus, "Meep meep", into trotting toward the hill giant, stopping 25ft away from it. Then Magwitch's resonant baritone belows out and all familiar, "Sucks to be you!" (misfortune, Will DC 20 negates) before beginning to mutter to itself, reading out the chants on its prayer shawl.

  • Nergui trembles for a moment. "WHO WANTS THE FIRST SLICE?!" she suddenly screams, and then bolts towards the giant with the giant cleaver in her hands, chopping at him as soon as the giant is in chopping range

<mainstreet> *slicesliceslice* Well, you got the first slice, Nergui. The giant roars in rage and pain!

<mainstreet> The giant turns around and attempts to bash Nergui with his club!

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy grins. "I like our new party member."

<mainstreet> *BANG* The club slams into Nergui, and she is banged up pretty badly.

<Nergui> "No pain, NO GAIN!"

  • Nergui laughs in a manner inappropriate for someone supposedly in pain
  • Fir pulls a stalagmite-looking crystal out of her spell component pouch, shivers her finger along the edge, and whispers, "buz nize". A giant spear of ice climbs out of the ground underneath the giant.

<mainstreet> The spear sticks the giant nicely in the foot, and he trips over.

<mainstreet> "RARGH!"

<Nergui> Kiyomi begins walking calmly towards Nergui, singing a song in some other language that nonetheless sounds encouraging

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy, inspired by her new favorite teammate, similarly runs in screaming. "SHEEEAAARGH!" Spying a hangnail on the giant's outstretched hand, she brings her hammer down on it hard enough to drive it into the flesh. Ooh, that's gotta hurt.

<Magwitch> Meep meep scoots up to behind Nergui and Magwitch reaches out and casts a curative spell on Nergui.

  • Nergui finally stops laughing, and regains her composure, taking a short moment to catch her breath. "We have shown our strength. Do you want to die here, or will you talk?" she says to the giant

<mainstreet> "I talk." the Giant said shortly, still splaid out on the ground.

<Nergui> "Why are you here?"

  • Fir uses the chat time to catch up to the others with her much shorter legs.
  • Magwitch stops muttering chants.

<mainstreet> "Hungry"

<Fir> "Where's bossman?"

<mainstreet> "I my OWN boss!" the giant yells in protest.

<Nergui> "What is your name?"

<mainstreet> "Eric."

<Fir> "Nice name," Fir says approvingly.

<Fir> "Where is the humans' bossman?"

<mainstreet> "Unhh... I am? Or... something?"

<Nergui> "Or something?"

<mainstreet> "Something. I forget."

<mainstreet> Not only is he smashed, Eric here seems drunk... or drugged. He might not be fully aware of what he's saying.

<Nergui> "Ma'am, this giant appears to be...drunk. Or drugged," Kiyomi says.

  • Fir looks at the giant, wondering how long it will take him to sober up.

<Capn_Mercy> "He's gonna be sore when he wakes up."

<mainstreet> Fir: He appears to be getting a drugged water source of some sort. It will probably take at least a day to clean it out of his system. If healthy. Which he's not. Because he got smashed by a couple of raging ladies.

  • Capn_Mercy feels guilty, yet oddly pleased with herself.
  • Fir digs around in her bag for a bit, pulls out a cup, looks at the giant then back at the cup, puts the cup back in the bag, and pulls out her cauldron. Snapping her fingers at it and muttering "su", she fills the cauldron with clean water. "Here, drink this," she says to the giant.

<mainstreet> A man steps out of the house the giant was trying to raid. "What the hell, man? You had this one dead to rights! Kill it already, it tried to kill me!"

<mainstreet> The giant slowly sits up and starts drinking.

<Fir> "Dead giants don't talk."

<Nergui> "Indeed."

<mainstreet> "What's there to talk about? Just kill it and claim the bounty! One less giant terrorizing the farms of Valgate!"

<Nergui> "What's there not to talk about?"

  • Fir nods sagely in agreement with this wisdom.

<Fir> When the giant finishes drinking the water in the cauldron, Fir snaps her fingers again and refills it.

<Nergui> "I've never talked with a giant before, so this is a nice, new experience for me," Nergui says sardonically

<mainstreet> "If you're going to be helping the enemy, maybe I should be reporting you as traitors!"

<mainstreet> The man seems really cheesed off.

  • Fir looks at the angry man and decides that speeding up the giant's recovery might be a good idea. She digs in her bag, pulling out potion bottle after potion bottle. After sniffing about 5 of them, she finds the one she's looking for. "Here, drink this," she says, handing it to the giant.

<Nergui> "Something is up with this giant, and we just want to know what that is. He can't tell us if he's dead. Maybe we can get the giants to leave us alone if we know why he's acting so strange."

<Fir> "You can wash it down with the cauldron water, but then I need my cauldron back."

<Nergui> "So, don't do anything impulsive, please."

<mainstreet> The man rolls his eyes. "If it attacks again, I'm suing!" He heads back into his house.

<mainstreet> The giant starts drinking,.

<Magwitch> "We definitely shouldn't heal the giant if we don't want to have to fight the farmer next."

<Fir> "This won't heal him so much as neutralize whatever drug's in him."

<Magwitch> "Splendid."

<Nergui> "I wouldn't worry about fighting the farmer. I'd be more worried if he called the guards."

<mainstreet> It takes a few minutes, but he finishes. "Wow. That's like a cloud lifted. I haven't felt like this in a while... why am I here? Why am I bleeding so much? Why are you here?"

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy whistles innocently.

<Magwitch> "Unless he's got a voice that carries a really long way, would he be able to call the guards from inside the farmhouse?"

<Nergui> "I got...carried away. I apologize for the bleeding, Eric."

<mainstreet> "Uh, sorry about that. My name's not actually Eric. It's Garrt."

  • Magwitch hands Garrt a goodberry. "You mentioned you were hungry. This will fix that."
  • Fir casually takes her cauldron back.

<Nergui> "Garrt, huh? How aware are you of your situation?"

<mainstreet> Garrt noms. "Uh. What's the situation?"

<Fir> "Do you know where the human bossman is?"

<mainstreet> "Not... not exactly. I do know... that's why I told you I was him. While under that stuff."

<Fir> "Huh?"

<Nergui> "That stuff?"

<mainstreet> "Yeah... my mind was all... cloudy. But the water tasted better. I think she put some good stuff in it. That's what she said, anyway."

<Capn_Mercy> "She?"

<mainstreet> "The pretty lady that visited a few weeks back. Said she had gifts for us. Including good stuff. And a new member. But since then... well, it's been a haze. Like... you saw."

<Nergui> "Who is this new member?"

<mainstreet> "Eric. But now... we are all Eric. I think the stuff does that."

<Nergui> "Huh."

<Nergui> "Are you well enough to travel?"

<mainstreet> "Uh... I guess."

<Nergui> "Good. I would not be surprised if that man was going to get the guard, so perhaps we should get moving."

<mainstreet> The giant slowly stands up. "Where are we going?"

<Nergui> "Where did you meet the 'pretty lady'?"

<Magwitch> "Didn't the farmer go back into his house?"

<mainstreet> "At the well. We all meet there. The whole tribe."

<Nergui> "If you took us to the well, would your tribe attack us?"

<Magwitch> "If we went to the well and asked for Eric, would they all insist, 'No, I am Spartacus!' and brawl each other?"

<Capn_Mercy> "Who's Spartacus?"

<Fir> "We just need to let them know that it's ok for ALL of them to be Eric."

<Capn_Mercy> "I thought the idea was to *stop* them all from being Eric."

  • Fir looks at Mercy with incomprehension. "Why? They have the right to be who they want to be."

<Nergui> "I think being Eric is something they were tricked into being, rather than something they chose to be."

<Capn_Mercy> "Not when someone else is already busy being them."

<mainstreet> "I don't know. Maybe. If you tried to tell them they weren't Eric, while they're still drugged, they won't like that."

<mainstreet> "The good stuff does a good job of telling you you're Eric."

<Nergui> "So we'd have to get past a bunch of possibly angry giants to get to a well that we don't exactly know how to cleanse."

<Capn_Mercy> "Someone drugged you all to make you think you're Erics. That's...kind of dumb."

<Capn_Mercy> "Can you tell us more about this 'lady'? Who is she?"

<Fir> "Well, if being Eric is a good thing, maybe we should spread it around so everyone can be Eric." Fir wonders what it's like to be Eric.

<Nergui> "The drug seems to do more than just make someone...think they're Eric."

<mainstreet> "Human. I think. Maybe? Dressed in blue. I think she introduced an Eric, an actual Eric, to our tribe. Why, I don't know."

<Nergui> "Does she still visit?"

<mainstreet> "Every couple of days."

<Nergui> "It's possible she's powerful enough to be a threat to us, but I bet a confrontation with her is inevitable."

<Magwitch> "Now that you are not as Eric as you were recently, will you be able to identify which pseudoEric is the newcomer to your tribe when you see them?"

<mainstreet> "No. We're hill giants. We don't differ that much."

<Fir> "Was Eric a hill giant?"

<Fir> "Was the lady a hill giant?"

<mainstreet> "He is, yeah. She's human, though. I think."

<Capn_Mercy> "Wait, the real Eric is a hill giant?"

<Magwitch> "Hmm. I would say that to a human, all humans look different and all giants look alike. For a hill giant, wouldn't it be the case that all hill giants look different and humans are more homogenous?"

<Nergui> "No, not all humans are homogenous. I've heard some of us are straight."

<mainstreet> "I don't think that matters. One person looks much like another, regardless of species."

  • Fir nods in agreement with Magwitch. "You animals mostly look the same to me." She looks at the giant. "Although I'll grant he's bigger than the rest of you."

<mainstreet> "I've never seen him not be a hill giant. I mean, the tribe is all hill giants. Except that lady that comes around."

<Magwitch> "On the outside, anyway"

<Capn_Mercy> "Hmm. Methinks I might know what's going on here."

<Nergui> "Oh?"

<Fir> "Is the tribe ok with her not being a hill giant? Would the tribe be ok if I joined?"

<Capn_Mercy> "How do you hide a tree? Put it in a forest."

<mainstreet> "She's not one of us. She just gives us stuff."

<Capn_Mercy> "How do you hide a missing baron? Make him look like a giant, then make all the other giants think they're him."

<Fir> "So I can't be a hill giant?" Fir looks disappointed.

<Nergui> "It's quite the roundabout way of hiding someone, but it...makes sense?"

<Magwitch> "Until someone tries to Detect Magic, I suspect."

<Capn_Mercy> "Depends on how he's been altered. Illusion spell? Polymorph? Enlarge Person?"

<Magwitch> "All of which have a different School of Magic to enchantment / charm."

<Nergui> "I know Enlarge Person. It doesn't last that long."

<Fir> "Ooooh, good idea." Fir points two fingers at her eyes, firmly says, "sehrli," then points those two fingers at the giant. Just to make sure he's not the missing human in disguise.

<Capn_Mercy> "I guess the first step is to find them all."

<mainstreet> Fir: Nope! Nice thinking, and he's devoid of magic.

<Fir> "Well, it's not Gart here."

<Magwitch> "Is it maybe Garrt?"

<Fir> "Oh, was that what he said his name was? Well, Garrt is definitely Garrt and not Eric."

<mainstreet> "Yeah, I only said I was Eric because of the good stuff."

  • Magwitch scratches its head.
  • Magwitch blinks too, for good measure.

<Nergui> "Hiding Eric among the giants also presents the problem of getting past the giants. Hm."

<Capn_Mercy> "Let's find them first and do some recon."

<Fir> "Maybe if we all looked as pretty as the pretty lady, they would not mind us, just like they don't mind her."

<Capn_Mercy> "Garrt, can you take us to the well without the other giants noticing?"

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy snorts at Fir. "I'm pretty *and* mostly naked. I think I'm good."

  • Nergui grins

<mainstreet> "I can try," he points towards the dunes. "We're in there. Follow me, I guess," he starts heading that way.

  • Nergui and Kiyomi tag along

<Magwitch> "What's the pretty lady's name?"

<mainstreet> "Uh, I forgot."

<Fir> "Plants find me beautiful. I'm not as sure about standards in the animal kingdom. I hear those mammary glands play as strong a role for you as petals for us."

<Nergui> "They sure do."

<Magwitch> "I thought they were only for the newborn larvae?"

<Nergui> "They're for multiple things."

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy grins. "Many, many fun things."

  • Fir casts Create Water on herself a few times as they cross the dunes.

<mainstreet> As night begins to fall, you see a patch of weathered sandstone in front of you and to the left of the path a bit.

<Nergui> "Hmm."

<Magwitch> "Are we nearly there yet?"

<mainstreet> "In a bit."

<mainstreet> Nergui: You see the sandstone twitch... wait a second... that's a... very large... insectoid creature, getting ready to strike!

<Nergui> "Weapons out!"

<Magwitch> "Do you think we'll need them when we get there?"

<mainstreet> The huge scorpion thing starts moving menacing-like.

<Fir> "Molly! Find the healing concoctions and give one to that one," Fir says, pointing at Nergui.

<Capn_Mercy> "That's not a sandstone outcropping! THAT'S NOT A SANDSTONE OUTCROPPING AT ALL!!" Furious at this unwarranted act of deception, Mercy storms over and attempts to brain the big bug with her big smashy thingy.

<mainstreet> *SMASH*

<Nergui> Kiyomi mutters something in an arcane dialect, and then pokes Nergui, whose wounds suddenly close some more

  • Fir flicks a finger in the air, says, "Alov", and a ball of fire appears in her hands. She throws it the creature.

<Fir> Meanwhile Fir's bag moves as if an invisible force is rummaging around in it.

<mainstreet> *sizzle!*

<Magwitch> Magwitch spurs the longsuffering compsognathus, "Meep meep", into trotting toward the slab of sandstone, stopping 25ft away from it. Then Magwitch's resonant baritone belows out an all familiar, "Sucks to be you!" (misfortune, Will DC 20 negates) before beginning to mutter to itself, reading out the chants on its prayer shawl.

<Nergui> "This is gonna get ugly..." Nergui mutters, and then lets out a wordless scream as she pulls out her cleaver and practically leaps at the scorpion

<mainstreet> Nergui leaps at the scorpion and slices it into pieces! Well, that wasn't much of a challenge, was it?

<Capn_Mercy> "Ooorah! We kill things good!"

<Nergui> "STOP DYING AT ME!"

  • Fir looks at the flames in her hands, at the already-dead creature, and then back at the flames. She starts trying to juggle flames, badly.

<Fir> A vial floats towards Nergui. "Oh, I don't know if you still want that," Fir says.

<Capn_Mercy> "Up high!" Mercy makes to fistbump Nergui.

  • Nergui stands there, covered in scorpion hemolymph, breathing heavily. She then fistbumps Mercy

<mainstreet> "Maybe we should camp. Don't want to fight tribe after having had fights," Garrt comments.

<Capn_Mercy> "Yeah, Nergui, you might want to get patched up before we go marching into the lions' den."

<Nergui> "Should I take that vial, then?"

  • Nergui hesitantly takes the vial and downs it

<Fir> The concoction inside doesn't taste like any Cure potion you've had before. It smells faintly of lavender and ragweed, not entirely a pleasant experience. But it does leave you feeling somewhat rejuvenated.

<Fir> *very slightly rejuvenated

<Nergui> "Eh, not the worst thing I ever drank."

<Nergui> "Well, a night's sleep would do me good, if nothing else."

<Fir> "So we're camping here?" Fir begins making preparations for the night. First, she pulls out her umbrella. Turning it upside down, she snaps her fingers, says, "su", and the umbrella fills with water. Stepping into this pool, Fir sighs as her wooden feet begin drawing in water. She has Molly pull out the cauldron and begins adding various herbs, which soon fill the night air with interesting scents.

<mainstreet> The giant nods, finds a hard slab of sandstone, makes sure it's not actually a scorpion, then rests on it.

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy wonders if giant scorpions are edible...

<mainstreet> Mercy: Teeeeeeechnically yes, but, ewwwww.

<Nergui> "Kiyomi, help me with my armor." Before long, Nergui is no longer covered in steel, the clothing beneath surprisingly plain. She herself is almost ridiculously well-muscled and well-endowed, with more pale scales here and there

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy whistles. "Daaamn."

  • Nergui grins

<Magwitch> As night begins to fall, Magwitch perches itself on the ground and converses intently with its navel. Talking to itself, and astonishingly, its navel talks back (though in a language nobody understands).

<Magwitch> This goes on for an hour.

  • Fir notices, but does not know that this is not normal behavior for non-plants.

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy has a cooking kit out over the fire, and seems to be experimenting with scorpion meat stew. She takes one sip, blinks, then upends the entire pot onto the ground. "Bleaurgh."

<Capn_Mercy> She then spies Magwitch. "Okay, seriously, what *is* your deal? Even for a halfling, you're weird."

  • Magwitch continues its mediation, oblivious to distractions.
  • Nergui starts setting up a two-person tent

<Nergui> "I heard some types of magic users have to do some weird meditation or study to use their magic. I never needed to."

<Capn_Mercy> Mercy shrugs, and works on her own bedding.

<Nergui> "I know Kiyomi casts magic a little like I do. What about the rest of you?"

<Capn_Mercy> "I hate mages. Well, I hate mages who're trying to hurt me, at least."

<Fir> "I do a sort of stare-at-the-stars meditation thing just before dawn to get my magic ready."

<Nergui> "I grew up around a lot of spellcaster-y types. It's...almost normal to me, I suppose. My magic comes from the blood. I just...do it."

<mainstreet> Night passes... the sun rises... and you slowly wake up...

<mainstreet> You approach the giant camp carefully. Nestled in a bunch of dunes, you can see the dunes are more properly solid hills, and they have caves inside, where the giants apparently live. There are about a dozen or so of these caves. Garrt indicates to you which one is “his” cave. Some of the caves, he warns, have whole families, not just individual giants. You see a few small farms, and a few beasts of burden, but it’s a quite poor area indeed. The camp seems to overall be built around a central well, a solid rock hole right in the middle of camp, that has been walled off and you can clearly tell is a source of moisture that appears to be tapping into a deep underground aquifer. A few giants are lumbering around the area.

<Fir> "You seem to be in need of water here. You should pay a full-time druid to come make you all the water you need."

<Capn_Mercy> "They have water. They need *clean* water."

<Nergui> "What would they pay with, anyway?"

  • Fir looks offended. "A druid would never make *dirty* water!" She looks thoughtful. "Well, maybe some potassium and nitrogen fortification would be tasty."

<Magwitch> "Well, a giant-sized gold coin is probably worth ten normal sized gold coins."

<Magwitch> "Garrt, what is your local currency here, or do you barter for goods and services?"

<mainstreet> ---END SESSION---