Chaotic Crew:Campaign/Chapter 03/Choice Quotes

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Chapter 3:

Ascii: Oh yeah, here's a neat little follow-up you'll like. Remember how you were apologizing for having to partially pack my Starscream in trash bags 'cause you ran out of paper?

Jeysie: Yes?

Ascii: When I went to haul the trash off today, I taped up the box (with all the material still inside it) and carried it along. But when I got to the dump, there was a sign... apparently, they've changed their policy slightly. They're now refusing to take any trash that isn't in a trash bag. Which the box wasn't.

Ascii: So I took a bag out of the box, put the box *in* it, and chucked it in. That was just so awesome, I was snickering all the way home.

BLusk: A Roger Wilco response! It's like fake inspector paperwork!


BLusk: Well, I had a weirder than normal Black Friday. I actually got retail calls.

Ascii: Who dares summon BLusk the Terrible on Black Friday?

BLusk: In fact, Merrill Lynch and two WalMarts.

Jeysie: Merrill Lynch? Aren't they some fancy upscale chain?

BLusk: Actually, Merrill Lynch is a brokerage firm.

Jeysie: Darn, I was right the first time. Jeysie thought process: "Isn't Merrill Lynch some insurance firm or something? But he said he got retail calls..."


BLusk: Spike: You know, no matter how often I wear them, I just never seem to get tired of my yellow workman's boots and hat!

BLusk: Sparkplug: Neither do I, son! In fact, I threw away all my other clothes, because GOD DAMN these fit GREAT!

BLusk: Spike: I know! They're so versatile! You can wear them for work, and then turn around and attend a formal dinner!

BLusk: Sparkplug: I wonder if L. L. Bean knows about this?

Jeysie: I think Spike and Sparkplug changed clothes, like, once in the whole first two seasons.

Ascii: Then he got that cool exo suit for, like, 90 minutes in the movie. Then he got stuck with lame futuristic clothes for Season 3.

Jeysie: At least he didn't get the Dominatrix boots like poor Carly.


BLusk: Okay, some of these people are pervs.

Jeysie: Geeks usually are.

Ascii: Only some?

BLusk: ...never mind.


Out2lunch: Oy, I was just popping in to see if we were still on for tonight.

Ascii: Uh, yeah, we're still on. Why wouldn't we be?

Out2lunch: Holiday?

Bukkosha: Holiday was yesterday. If you can work, you can play.

Jeysie: Yeah, unless you're crazy enough to shop today... Which I'd like to think we're all sane here.


Bukkosha: I had to SELL stuff to those crazy shoppers. For eight hours.

BLusk: I had to fix the stuff that you would use to sell the stuff.


Out2lunch: Meh, I didn't think it was so bad today.

Jeysie: Well, you work in a coffee shop. I used to work in a toy store. Oh, my lord. But Black Friday isn't so bad in fast food/coffee/donut land.

Bukkosha: People don't EAT on Black Friday. People snort food and then go back to deal-hunting.

Ascii: They're too busy cannibalizing the bodies of the other shoppers they've trampled to death?

Bukkosha: Yes. If you've ever played Dead Rising, it was like that.


Bukkosha: So, are we going to play or can I go back to ignoring everything?

Jeysie: I was wondering the same. Well, minus the "ignoring everything" part.


Out2lunch: When you have a 15' x 3' workspace that gets a tad cramped.

Bukkosha: That's a bigger area than I spent most of my time in today.

Out2lunch: With 5 other people? Kinky...


Ascii: Jeysie, could I pester you for Last Lines?

Jeysie: Didn't I send all of you logs?

Out2lunch: Wait. You wanted us to *read* those?

Jeysie: You think I edit them for the hell of it? The quotes maybe, sure, but...


Ascii: I need to go AFK for a few minutes; we'll begin as soon as I get back. Now would be a good time to take a pee break. Or whatever.

Jeysie: There's something faintly ironic about this.

BLusk: In what way?

Jeysie: For the first time in months, everyone shows up on time... and we're still starting more than a half-hour late.


BLusk: (OOC) Wolfgang leans on his horse. "Man, it feels like I've been standing here for a week."

Jeysie: (as Reginar) "Aye, I know what ya mean, lad."

BLusk: (OOC) Wolfgang pulls out a dime-store novel and begins perusing its pages. "Hardly Boys and Nancy Drool."

Jeysie: (OOC) Reginar opens the bag. "Reminds ya of the time back when we had to spy on the wedding of those two Elven regents, doesn't it? By the gods, Elven weddings go on nigh forever..."

BLusk: (as OOC Wolfgang) "...your bag spied on a wedding?"

Ascii: Alright, let's get on with this.


Bukkosha: By the mystical street fighter-like powers vested in Gideon, he has wandered off. Hooray.

BLusk: Wolfgang ties his horse up outside the bed and breakfast, then enters the facility.

Iethloc: Eleihoff just wanders into the establishment, still holding his pet toad.

Ascii: The Bed and Breakfast is certainly... cozy. Whereas the rest of the buildings on the block (and indeed, in town) are older and mostly made of brick, this one is built of relatively new pinewood. The whole buildings has been whitewashed to a glowing sheen; the exterior is spotlessly clean, without a trace of weathering. Rose bushes surrounding the porch are immaculately trimmed, while yellow shutters and pink curtains frame all the windows. The overall effect is an overwhelming sense of quaintness, and maybe a little nausea.

BLusk: (as Wolfgang) "...what'd I tell you about eating at places that are too clean?"

Jeysie: (as Reginar) "I dunno, laddie, the last place was all right."

BLusk: (as Wolfgang) "We didn't eat there, either." He walks in the door and looks around.

Jeysie: Reginar follows Wolfgang inside. "We did get some great ale, though. And troll spit, for that matter."

Bukkosha: (OOC) "Say, didn't we live someone behind?" "... my horse?" "... you know, now that you mention it, I can't say I remember missing anyone." <Gideon> :o

BLusk: Well, I expect Gideon can take care of himself. Besides, we just got here.

Jeysie: He seems content with his troll spit. No doubt we'll get a call from the town guards saying he's gotten into a fight with a random townsperson. Or a zombie. Or both.


Out2lunch: (as Credance) "Current theological research shows that -um- that actually tiny invisible demons li-live in grime and -um- stuff..."

Jeysie: Reginar looks into his bag at Credance's comment. "I suppose that explains why you always made me keep my room clean as a wee lad, Grandpa?"

BLusk: (as Wolfgang) "Oh, you don't want to eat in a place that's filthy, but if it's too clean, they're hiding something."

Iethloc: (as Eleihoff) "...Hiding something?"

Out2lunch: (as OOC Credance) "Well, Master Zwickel did always say that an evil sacrificial altar is a clean sacrificial altar... of course he is a cleric of Erythnul..."

Bukkosha: (OOC) "Cleanliness is next to godliness." "Shut up, Cree." ":<"


BLusk: Crap, first city's name? Cityville?

Jeysie: Worldstown. We're *in* Cityville right now.

BLusk: Okay, thank you, Jeysie.

Ascii: If it helps, I have trouble keeping them straight too.

Jeysie: Sheesh. Am I the only one who pays attention?

Out2lunch: Yup.

Iethloc: Probably.

Ascii: Heh! No, I mean... I chose generic names to be funny... but it's also making it hard to keep the names straight.

Jeysie: *rolls her eyes and feels not the least bit better*


Ascii: Urk. Sorry, guys, I need a quick pitstop. I'll be right back.

BLusk: Right-o.

Ascii: *sighs again* Bleh. Right in the middle of a desc, and my train of thought gets derailed.

Bukkosha: (as Ascii) So, I'm just gonna say that stuff happened.


Out2lunch: Off topic, but, anyone here interested in some free iTunes songs?

Jeysie: Not unless they're in normal mp3 format.

Out2lunch: Of course they are. And they're even nice and legal.

Bukkosha: (as Lunchie) ...for now...


Ascii: (as News Broadcast) "This is Joanna Treehugger with Channel 6 News. Our latest story: earlier today, a group of adventurers was dispatched by the Church of All Worlds in a desperate, last-ditch effort to discover the source of the recent theological breakdowns."

Bukkosha: (OOC) "I hate this channel's news cast. It's full of treehuggers." "I resent that. >:("

Ascii: Side note: I know that "Joanna Treehugger" isn't a particularly Elvish name, but since I suck with names already, I decided to keep it simple.


GameServ: BLusk rolled 1d100: 26 <Total: 26>

BLusk: Greatclub.

Ascii: Seriously? Wow, that's a coincidence.

Iethloc: That sounds like it's either very good or very bad.

Ascii: The enemy that they're fighting is also armed with a greatclub.


Ascii: As you advance, a zombie shuffles into the alley from the far end. This one looks different from the others you've seen so far, though... whereas the other zombies all looked like ordinary (dead) villagers, this one is taller, beefier, and decidedly more combat-oriented. He's wearing light armor, and carrying a large spiked club... the moment he sees you, he growls and begins shuffling towards you rapidly.

Bukkosha: How far away?

Ascii: The alley is 10 feet wide, and about 40 long... each of you is on one end of it.

Bukkosha: Gideon -> Surprise attack -> PUNCH TO DA FACE.

Bukkosha: Well, not surprise attack. Just one turn traversing 40'. Really fast. With a devil's grin on his face.


Ascii: So, you're just running up to him?

Bukkosha: PUNCH TO DA FACE.

Bukkosha: He's going to throw all 200+ pounds of muscle and bone behind it, too.


Ascii: You race over and, in really cool slow motion, swing your fist at the zombie's face. The sickening, satisfying crunch of splintering bone you're expecting never comes, however... your swing misses the zombie, sending you stumbling past him awkwardly.

Bukkosha: (OOC) "It's only sickening to you, pal."


Ascii: *WHIFF* Again, you miss, flailing useless at the zombie as you skip past him and nearly collide with a nearby dumpster.

Bukkosha: Dammit, GameServ. You're making Gideon look crappy. I'm saying that Gideon is still sort of lushed up. That's my explanation and I'm sticking to it.


Ascii: Gideon's constant "I'm wandering off" habit has got the others a bit irked.

Bukkosha: He'll get better, especially if the other personalities have reasons to stay with the group. Since they'll totally whip him at poker.